At the time it felt like our world had shattered. The excitement and anticipation turned to anxiety and wonder. Slowly, we put the pieces back together. It helped that we were very blessed to have a relatively easy and successful second pregnancy. E is the perfect addition to our family and I couldn't imagine life without her.
I thought that once we had E I might feel like that first baby was less important or I wouldn't really think about it. Keeping up with an infant and now a busy toddler has means that my experience with Baby 1 isn't always on my mind like it was for a while, but it never goes away. It changed me and will always be a part of who I am.
When I had my miscarriage, I felt guilty and broken. It was very hard to accept that it could just happen. (A quick look at the stats tells me how frighteningly common miscarriage is, but there is nothing common about experience). As I have shared my story over the year, I was amazed at how many people had been through it too. But no one really talks about it.
Over the past three years one of the biggest things I have noticed is more conversation about the subject. People are using social channels to share their miscarriage experience. There are projects such as the documentary Don't Talk About the Baby working to broaden the conversation, articles and opinion pieces in major media publications, and others with a megaphone sharing the experience. If I could prevent anyone from enduring that kind of pain, I would, but until then, it is comforting to know I am not alone.
|Light a candle and say a prayer|